outside his house there was a sprawling tree, aged and full of life. it held its branches high in a testament to a lifetime of faithful service. as the winter breeze blew bitterly against his face, the leaves rustled ever so slightly. he would sit for hours and admire it for its persistance and dedication. it had been here as long as anyone could remember and never failed to follow through with its appointed task.in the fall its leaves faded, fell to the ground, and gave way to the season. winter had brought the cold and the rain, but it was unphased. springtime would be here soon and the warm sun would bring new life and soon it would flourish again and this gave him hope.he often wished he could have been this tree. never waivering. never offending. never crying. never making others cry. surviving all of life’s trials. he wished he could recreate himself in the springtime, shed his skin and be alive again.as he sat staring, he glanced over and saw mystery standing in the shadows. he tried to speak, but she was gone and he was alone again…wishing he was his dreaming tree.
Monthly Archive for January, 2005
last night i hung out with the nelson’s. those kids really are alright. we enjoyed some mirassou and rented “ghost world”. i’d never seen ghost world, but knew that i couldnt go wrong with a scarlet johansson flick. wasnt disappointed at all with the film and the whole “not fitting in” theme really hit home for a couple of us in the crowd…and scarlet’s voice is still incredible.tonight im putting the finishing touches/revisions on a paper that im submitting this week for publication. writing up a science paper is so different that any other kind of writing. understand that science progresses because of peer-reviewed literature and retains its objectivity by stripping out any emotion or subjectivity from the author. while this lends itself beautifully to science it personally kills every creative bone in my body. when im working on this kind of material i just cant seem to switch gears back into the kind of writing that frees my mind.luckily, i have an incredible side-project going on right now that will be unveiled in the next couple of days. ive been working with an artist/friend who has given me a mental escape from science, the lab and life. i cant imagine a healthier way to balance out my time.
julia was nicer than most. while others wore their masks, her smile was genuine. often she felt cheated because her life was so good, so happy. there wasnt any torment in her world today or in her past. her life was beautiful and she found it hard to relate to those who had experienced pain and sadness.her direction was sure, but soon she would meet him and he would show her things she had only seen in the movies or read in books. he would take her away from this town and from her peaceful life. he would show her how unfair life could be by destroying her preconceived notions. he would wake her up to the moment.she was waiting for her stranger, when he walked into the bar.
the moon was flirting with the clouds as the cold air blew across his face. smoke was hanging effortlessly against the harsh porch light.it was getting colder–and she was right–he should have brought his jacket. but when he walked in, the air was warm and inviting as Mystery pulled up her chair.”dont make fun,” he insisted. and she smiled back at him…completely in the moment.
her tattered jeans were emblazoned with the scars of her work. colors were meshed together in a disharmonious testimony to her passion. her sleeveless shirt crumpled against her thinning body. she hummed a familiar song about life and loneliness as she saw him through the window.”i missed you today” he said as he walked through the door. his cologne filled the room and another night was about to begin.
girls suck
it’s cooler tonight. fans set to medium spin too quickly. little lights twinkle through paper lanterns as gold tassles sway. the chirping is in unison now, the sacred song of the sleeping. peaceful and still.it’s strange how smoothly it enters. one deep breath followed by a slow exhale. again in unison. chirp. chirp. chirp.i’m trying to make tonight about everyone else. the natural/unnatural brunette, the crystal-eyed girl down the street, it’s all about HER. capital letters add so much, don’t they?now i’ve caught a chill. these things never leave…so instead, i’ll remember them.Part I: The Glorious Distraction (or so they say)
he was calmer than i expected. cool and collected he lowered the emotional bar. his eyes never looked away. they were steady and determined, fixed on mine. instead of fire and wrath he was gentle and forgiving. full of wisdom beyond his years, I could see why she loved him, why she married him.it was springtime when they met. nature was alive and they were the best of friends. he always felt awkward around her, but she was cool enough for both of them. they were young but very much in love, it was their only fault. their relationship was innocent, honest and pure. when they were married, their family and friends cried when they saw their love.i cried because he was calmer than i expected, cool and collected, full of wisdom beyond his years.
it was late when he saw her. the setting was serene and sterile. when he walked in, everything was as it should be. calm. quiet. black and white as it too often is. he felt confident but out of place maybe out of time. he was looking for his safety. then he saw her.”i’m glad you’re here”, she said.he fumbled against his awkward shoes which suddenly felt too big for his body.”this place is mad crazy”, she smiled.he nodded in agreement happy to be in the same space, in the same moment as her.”i can always count on you for a light, right?”he fumbled in his pocket looking for the perfect word. she pulled her hair back from her face as he looked into her eyes. it was her nervous habit and it was beautiful. she was the girl in purple, perfect for her surroundings and beyond the moment. the music played in his mind as she said, “…this is going to be a good night.”"let me introduce you to my friend. i think you would be perfect together.” her smile was reassuring and that brought him peace.i’m sure she was surprised at how late it was and he was happy that he found her here among friends. the rain was beating harder now and he was sure that they would be leaving together soon.as she listened to the rain she said, “we should get going, it’s getting late.” she put on her familiar gloves and as they left together they talked about the rain and it was beautiful.
she was wearing purple when he saw her. it was her corporate skin; the regalia of the very thing that was suffocating her. she had become a prisoner of this place. trapped. begging for space, while she sold their goods and lived in their city. she was not a part of their program, only a victim of its trap.
at night she screams silently into her pillow. it has become her only recourse. she wishes she could go back to sleep but once you are awake, it’s hard to forget what you’ve seen, where you’ve been and what you’ve felt.
it’s late when she gets home and her temples pound. she tosses her purple blouse to the floor, happy to be free from it. she is alone with herself now–even though he is there with her. he’s hanging on her every word desperately wanting to be sitting inside her thoughts and understanding each one.
“you look beautiful in purple”, he said and she smiled as he kissed her forehead.
he was the cool kid in class, quiet and aloof. he sat with a confidence that was beyond arrogance but well short of assuredness. he wasn’t there to make friends or attract women. No. He had a job to do and he was willing to serve his time.
and why should he care about making friends? after all, he had her waiting for him at home.
she was the crowning achievement of everything he had worked for. he loved her and she respected him. her eyes danced with pride when he walked into the room. he was her best friend and even if they weren’t lovers, they were soul mates and that was more than enough for this lifetime.
her name was mystery.
we should really go to hawaii.
it’s sunny there. the ocean is blue and the sand is fine like powder beneath your feet.when you wake up in the morning, the breeze blows the ocean’s breath in your face and it gives me new life. we can meet up with that ship boat captain who smelled more like whiskey than the ocean. the locals will tell us how they came to the islands on vacation and never went back home. we’ll lie on the beach and dream about doing the very same leaving behind home, school and friends. it would be just us lying under the sun on a powdery beach by the blue ocean.
we should really go to hawaii.
terminal 2 feels cold and empty. the sliding glass doors are wide open and winter’s chill is filling the room. an asian man sells cigarettes to travelers needing a quick but costly fix. an old man stares impatiently at the blinking flight screen. he’s waiting for her. she’s been gone too long; he didn’t think he’d miss her this much. but now the laundry is piling up and he has no clean dishes left. he’s tired of microwave dinners and cold cereal. where is she? he really does miss her.
let go. just give in. unless doing so will really screw things up. in which case hang on tight.
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