julia watched the rain fall to the ground from her kitchen window. she closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath to remember…
it had been nearly a year since she had seen him but she could still recall the smell of his cologne, the sound of his voice and the taste of his lips. she would fight the temptation to call him. resist the urge to see him. forbid herself from smiling at the thought of his smile. he was so good to her and she was perfect for him. if each of has a soul, then hers was meant for him and his for her. he had taught her about true love, about giving yourself completely and about being utterly alone. when he left she cried like no one else ever had.
…as she exhaled and opened her eyes, she whispered, “baby don’t go away.” the rain had paused and in the deafening silence she knew what had to be done.
so its been raining for days here in socal. it has been relentless and the freeways are flooded and everything is just soaked. the novelty of storm watch 2005 is really beginning to wear thin.
i told leanne that as the rain keeps falling, i’m becoming more and more concerned that jesus may be sending another flood to destory the world. so take this as a warning: if you see animals lining up two-by-two or if you see a really old guy building a giant boat then hop aboard. because last time this happened everyone who made fun of him got screwed.
last night we had band practice and everybody was all jazzed because they didn’t have to be at class until 1pm the next day. freedom from the dreaded 8am class really allowed our creative energy to flow. so we were all focused and resisted playing cheesy covers so that we could work on travis’ song which i’ve since learned is called “tradesman”. then we played “jolene” which is one of cake’s best songs. ever.
we recorded those two songs and i’m going to put them up on this site and charge .99 cents a download and we’ll make so much money that we’ll be able to drop out of school and eventually wind up on mtv’s cribs. or maybe i’ll just upload the songs and be happy if one person listens to them.
afterall, capitalism is so 1999.
afterwards we went back to the nelsons and got all crazy over ourselves in classic rock star fashion. then we decided that we still had some rock left in us and we went to the local karaoke hole and we sang obnoxiously until the early morning hours. heidi and i sang “come on feel the noise” and everybody in the place was definitely feeling the noise. then heidi wanted to sing it again so she hopped up on a table and shook her moneymaker because one day we’ll be too old or too uptight to just let go.
while waiting for an appointment the other day I was so bored that I started playing solitaire on my treo. when i clicked to get a new set of cards, i drew three sixes and while i looked at the black 6-6-6 staring back at me, i laughed out loud because it was the mark of the beast and all. i would have been really freaked out…you know…if the devil wasn’t just a dreamed up cultural myth.
i’m always amazed though when intelligent, educated people get freaked out about a random set of three numbers. there was this girl in my class who refused to sing the words to this one song because it contained the lyrics, six, six, six.
people who believe in god sure are afraid of his arch nemesis arent they?
so today is valentine’s day which means that you are most likely feeling one of two things: 1) either you’re all bubbly because you’re with the person you love, like or really dig or 2) you’re sad because you’ve lost the love of your life or the kid you like doesnt like you back. so whichever scenario finds you…enjoy the moment for what it is.
when i came home for lunch there was this ballon bouquet in the dumpster outside my place. i was like, damn at least keep the tacky thing until valentine’s day is over! even if they were from the annoying guy who works two cubicles down from you, you could at least have the decency to keep them until the actual day inscribed on the mylar balloon is over. some people just have no heart.
like the song says, “…don’t be reckless with other people’s heart and don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.”
i thought thrusday night would be a really slow night–full of studying and overall boredom. but beth called me up and we went to this restaurant where her cousin works and after about an hour, we had this bright idea to go to casino morongo because all the freshmen were there and if you cant have a good time with enibriated underclassmen then you’re just not trying.
so we drove out to the desert and it was raining but there wasnt much traffic. the casino was tacky and even if the guys who own the_palms built this place, the clientel is really gross/greasy/smelly. but we found our group and they were already having a really, really good time. so we spent the next couple of hours immeresed in mayhem. there was this one girl at the bar with a crazy haircut who was talking about how none of the other people in the club were cool and that she couldnt believe she was there, but then later i saw her dancing with all these gross kids and i was like, yeah, you’re way to good for this place. honey if you like casino morongo, go ahead and admit it–no one will think less of you. except me, because i know you’re really just a poser.
on wednesday night we had band practice and it was all kinds of cool. we were a lot more focused than in the recent past. no screwing around, just all business. we worked out a travis_nelson original that had a really cool baseline and because it was really just a one-guitar song, i played bass and it felt awesome to pluck those big fatty strings and feel the band’s heartbeat through my whole body. we ran through our version of “i will survive” and it sounded really hot and two other songs but i forget what they were because my fingers were throbbing from playing the aforementioned bass. oh and staker’s family was in town visiting and since we use her garage and all we figured they were entitled to a little show so we did two numbers and it was awesome and i bet if we would have had a cd to sell, we would have sold two copies just-like-that.
me: so you signed up with cingular with no contract?
Jeff Stonebraker: no a 1 year
me: that’s very jeffcarter of you…i’m pleased
Jeff Stonebraker: they take a year off the contract
me: word
me: you should get a treo 650
Jeff Stonebraker: dude, I want one
me: it’s only $399
Jeff Stonebraker: buy me one for valentines
me: whatever just buy my treo 600
Jeff Stonebraker: I’m not buying second hand tech
me: it has been in my crotch pocket for 2 months and that makes it more valuable
Jeff Stonebraker: good visual
me: and i’ll sign it
me: and i’ll leave my face goo on the screen
Jeff Stonebraker: doesn’t up the value
Jeff Stonebraker: I’ve tried that angle
me: oh come on bitch
Jeff Stonebraker: fuck off
me: shit i’m late for class
on monday night, beth took me out for a late night snack at this pizza place called jersey’s. it was late and the place was pretty dead, but that made it all the better because we felt like they were staying open just to serve us.
beth and i always have a great time together and by this point we’re pretty much best friends. she’s got a lot of really good skills and she smells nice.
after we finished our snack, the guy behind the counter was washing some glasses using “the bartender technique” where they swish the dirty glass in pseudo-warm bleach water and then swirl it in “clean water” and then set it up on the rack to dry. the guys complete lack of interest in the cleanliness of the glassware caught beth’s attention and she told the guy that he was full of shit and that she had no faith in his cleaning technique at all. the guy looked at us like he wanted to arm wrestle, but then his customer service training took over and he just mumbled, “fair enough”. beth was absolutely right, there’s no way those glasses were getting cleaned with any efficacy but i doubt that the guy could care less what a couple of kids had to say about it at 10pm.
then we went and got in beth’s car and it was chilly outside, so beth turned her seat warmers up to high and by the time i got back to my place my buns were nice and toasty. every monday night should be this fantastic.
Don’t u hate it when you’re looking for a parking space on a crowded street and some car parallel parks just far enough away from the car in front of it to give you a false sense of hope? so you circle back around and get all excited only to find out that the dude in the ford taurus is just playing with your head. then you end up parking a half mile away and the whole time your hiking to your appointment, you wonder how people can be so cruel.
a group of us went out to this thai restaurant this weekend and had a really cool time. the atmosphere was really laid back and we got to sit out on the patio and huddle up around those big body-warmer-things. inside there were all these really greasy, desperate, middle-aged guys who would hit on the girls in our group everytime they walked by to get to the washroom. when they’d get back to the table we’d laugh about how gross these guys were and how we were amazed at the disturbingly high percentage of bad haircuts to be found inside the bar. all of this just made us feel that much more attractive and sexy…which we were.
hannah and jane did a great job of making me feel like a stud and i love it when drunk guys ask me how i ended up with two hot girls while they’re stuck trying to get the one single chick with the bad dye job to give them the time of day. the secret? bring the hot girls with you. then the whole night, everyone else will wonder what you’re doing right. trust me this works everytime.
i’ve decided that if i ever get to record an album, i want emmylou harris to be on it. i would call her up and be like, “hello emmylou harris, i’m making this kick ass album and want you to come sit in and sing some songs with me.” then she’d ask me who i am and i’d tell her that i’m jeff carter–the guy from jeffcarter.net–and then she would be all impressed because she likes how pretentious my site is…in fact she thinks it’s the most pretentious site ever. i would tell her how cool it was to see her in concert and that i think her tracks on the new bright eye’s album are beautiful and haunting all at the same time. she would tell me to put together a demo cd and send it to her because emmylou harris is just that fucking cool.
it’s strange how your mind can feel so empty while your heart feels so heavy. an old billy idol song plays across the radio. “…a nice day for a white wedding…” and then you remember to take a breath. “…a nice day to start again…”
sometimes you can feel so much, that you begin to feel numb and other times you find yourself acutely aware of everything around you. the hard plastic chair you’re sitting on. the soft cotton sweatshirt against your skin. your hair shifting in the wind. the cheap round pen in your hand. and you remember that you are alive and that you are awake.
everything is moving in concert with one another and what once appeared completely random now seems beautifully in sync.
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