julia stared out the window as the skyscape screamed past her.

it all felt so familiar.

she was at home with her feelings, surrounded completely by the touch of her clothes and the taste of the air. she closed her eyes and felt her forehead press against the cold passenger-side window.

the whole night had been a blur and that was exactly how she had intended it.

the soft sound of a tune drifting over the car stereo served as a bitter reminder of what once was a dear promise.

the glare from on-coming headlights snapped her back to reality and she was faced with an existence without him. you see, when julia was honest with herself, she knew that she had only recently learned to accept the reality of her situation. in fact, picking herself up from pity and self-loathing had been her greatest achievment.

everyone thought so.

had you known what they had together, you would have congratulated her too.

everyone told her over and over how well she had coped with losing him and congratulated her on being able to get back to “normal”.

a million times a day, julia reassured herself that all was well and that life had moved on nicely and a million times a day she knew how sick it felt to lie to oneself.

as his car slowed alongside her street, she was quick to gather her things and thank him for the platitudes he had showered upon her that night.

“dinner was lovely and so was the company…thank you again,” she replied with a kiss to his cheek.

and with such few words she rushed to the staircase where she had shared her first kiss and it was there she paused until her evening’s nameless companion had safely driven away.

“it’s funny how it felt so familiar”, she smiled.

As she sat on the staircase where they spent so many late-night ascents, she smiled and wished him all the best in life and love.

sleep took hold of her quickly, but it was early when the sun pulled her from rest and once again julia was reminded of how much she hated the morning.