Leanne Carter: i think brando is weird.
Jeff Carter: brando is weird. he eats milkbones.
Leanne Carter: he’s sooo worried because he doesn’t know what he wants for xmas.
Jeff Carter: when he called me tonight i could sense the panic in his voice
Jeff Carter: he sounded like a kid sitting on santa’s lap two days before christmas and the mall is closing in 5 minutes and his mom is all, “brandon just tell santa what you want already” and then he freaks out and just asks for a train set
Leanne Carter: hahahaaha
Jeff Carter: like that time we were kids and you asked santa for a barbie doll cuz you freaked out and forgot that for the past 6 months all you wanted in the world was rainbow brite shit
Leanne Carter: i dont’ remember that shit poopie! that happened?
i kinda remember being fuck freak scared and just sayin’ ‘barbie doll’.
Jeff Carter: yeah we went to the mall after getting our annual carter family picture and mom was rehearsing with us what we would tell santa we wanted and then you got up there on santa’s lap and freaked out. later when mom asked what you asked santa for you said “…a barbie”
Jeff Carter: mom goes…”leanne, do you want a barbie?”
and you started crying and said “no…”
Leanne Carter: that is sooooooo sad.
Jeff Carter: i then freaked out and promised you that if santa didnt bring you want you wanted that you could have anything of mine in the whole world.
Leanne Carter: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Jeff Carter: that night i prayed that jesus would tell santa that you were just scared and that santa should disregard the barbie non-sense
Leanne Carter: oh crap. tears are streaming down my face from laughter.
Jeff Carter: then i realized that jesus and santa were philosophically opposed and figured that the whole santa thing had to be nonsense. so i just started asking jebus for stuff. cut out the middle man ya know?
Leanne Carter: fat lot of good that did. you shoulda stuck with santa
Jeff Carter: no kidding…i totally picked the wrong team…
Read Leanne’s more eloquent and grammatically correct version of events here.