stumbling my way through a digital life
last night we watched “the constant gardner” and once you make it through a few confusing scenes, things start to fall in place. early on in the movie, there’s a scene in this make-shift morgue and they show a guy puking all over the place.
Thanks to my home theater system we were able to enjoy this in dolby digital surround sound and let me tell you, nothing says cozy-date-night-romance like the sound of puke resonating around the room.
at this point, we were pretty much done with our pizza.
Stonebraker: i’m watching bill maher
Jeff Carter: cool he’s awesome
Stonebraker: eh…he’s hit or miss for me
Carter: you just like be unenthusiastic about anything i like
Stonebraker: no I’m just not a zealot
Carter: of anything?
Stonebraker: of things you like
Carter: haha
Stonebraker: cuz your a huge fanboy
Jeff Carter: yeah here’s how our conversations go:
Jeff Carter: dude xxxx is so rad! i love it!
Jeff Carter: stone: yeah it’s good….well its not really that good…in fact it’s dumb
Stonebraker: ok here’s how it really goes…
Stonebraker: let’s say that product xxxx is all over the tech sites
Stonebraker: Carter: dude did you see xxxx its the best thing that has ever been or ever will be
Stonebraker: then, a day or so later xxxxx is discredited and i’m like: I told you so…heh
Jeff Carter: i don’t care what you say, i’m not going to apologize for having passion…its part of my charm
Jeff Carter: its why i’m adored by literally dozens of canadians
Why the fuck was Steven Segal the grand marshall of the Mardi Gras parade? Is there something I’m missing here?
so it’s finally raining here in socal and we’ve bid farewell to our 90-degree-february days.
let’s see…90 degrees…then 50 degrees…then 90 degrees…then rain for a week. yeah that sounds normal to me.
this morning the weather babe said that we’ve only gotten like 50% of our average rainfall this year. i’m not too alarmed by this news, considering that last year we had like 500% of our total rainfall.
when it comes to the environment, i’m really banking that the republicans are right and that this is all just a part of the ebb and flow of climate change. However, if they’re wrong and all these crazy climate shifts are because of global warming, then we’re fucked!
oh well. dont republicans have to be right at least once?
The new Rocky Votolato album is available on Barsuk Records. This is a great album from an incredible artist. If you want to try before you buy, you can download two tracks from this site.
Skype is giving out free skypeout minutes this week.
10 free skype out minutes are yours for the taking…if skype’s your thing. I personally use it when coordinating with the international chapters of the jeffcarter.net fan club.
Death Cab’s new Direction’s video is online. This week’s video is for “i will follow you into the dark” and if that little rabbit in the video doesnt kind of make you want to cry, then you may not have a soul. Video is up until Sunday the 26th.
This is just a test of the asides feature in wordpress. This plugin was enabled by default in the k2 theme.
last night we watched “the constant gardner” and once you make it through a few confusing scenes, things start to fall in place. early on in the movie, there’s a scene in this make-shift morgue and they show a guy puking all over the place.
Thanks to my home theater system we were able to enjoy this in dolby digital surround sound and let me tell you, nothing says cozy-date-night-romance like the sound of puke resonating around the room.
at this point, we were pretty much done with our pizza.
my fancy-new-germ-free-redlands-apartment has this incredible patio that is like 25ft long. (yes, i actually measured because if there’s one thing a guy likes to brag about it’s length.) when i moved in, i decided to turn this empty space into my own personal garden-oasis.
so today i strung white lights all along the banister because i hate conservation and love over indulgence. (Oh and if you’re wondering it takes about 150 lights to cover a 25ft banister.) It’s my sincere hope that this will give my neighbors something new to gawk at as they walk past my place.
“yes! i do think my patio is the shit! what’s it to ya?!”
i’m such a garden-oasis-bad-ass.
in other news, my kid sister is all jazzed because she’s going to vegas and she’s got 10 good reasons why.
p.s. the carter kids are taking over the whole damn blogosphere
oh and everyone’s favorite nyc blogger just got a great new job because she’s a fancy manhattan freelancer….but does she have a garden-oasis-patio…yeah that’s what i thought.
Mandy: so i’m sad. zach braff and mandy aren’t really engaged!
Jeff Carter: i know u are sad but you have to realize he’s dating mandy moore
Jeff Carter: it’s time u accept that
Mandy: ha ha. you’re soooo funny
Jeff Carter: see what i did there…cuz ur both named mandy and u both love zach braff!
Jeff Carter: i kill me
Mandy: i’m glad u amuse yourself. it will be especially handy if u end up spending your life all alone
this weekend, winter weather finally arrived in socal. cold temperatures and falling rain have replaced ninety degree february days and i couldnt be happier. in order to enjoy the weather to its fullest, i headed over to the market to pickup some lazy sunday supplies. (mr.pibb and red vines equals crazy delicious!)
as i’m walking across the parking lot, i realize that while my sweater and beanie are keeping me warm, my choice to wear flip-flops was ill-conceived and by the time i make it into the store the cuffs of my pants are uncomfortably wet.
with supplies in hand, i head back to my car only to misjudge a puddle and sling rain water across the aforementioned flip-flops. i utter a few choice words–something to the effect of gosh darn son-of-a-gun. as i am grumbling to myself, i stop to let a woman in a wheelchair roll past me. as she rolls through the same puddle that i had just stepped in, i am frozen by irony.
was i just grumbling about walking through a puddle while this woman was drying her wheelchair as she loaded herself into her car? standing there in the parking lot i realized that while complaining about not having any proverbial shoes, i met a proverbial woman who had no feet.
this changed my life.
anytime your life changes for the better while standing alone in a parking lot, holding grocery bags and feeling the rain fall on your feet, you know you’ve had a meaningful day.
for the past month, i’ve been living in my cozy-germ-free-redlands-apartment. during these past few weeks, i’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that my next door neighbor has deplorable taste in music.
through the peephole, i’ve learned that mister-guy-next-door is a twenty-something white-collar-office type. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the guy except that dude, your music blows. it’s true. it just sucks. it’s awful.
stop playing it. stop it right now.
now.
Seriously, every weekend he insists on rocking his playlist of creed, three doors down and lifehouse. jesus christ man, its not 2001 and you’re not a twelve year-old girl.
by all accounts, branding me as a music snob is fair, but i dont think casually leaving a few compliations cds on the guys welcome mat would be uncalled for. in fact, i think its a very neighborly thing to do.
welcome me to the neighborhood, bitches.
Jeff Carter: hey what’s something that people collect that’s really retarded?
Jeff Carter: you know like little figurines or something
Mandy: i don’t know… beanie babies
Jeff Carter: haha! that’s what i said too!
Jeff Carter: rad! good answer
Jeff Carter: we should go on that game show
Mandy: what game show?
Jeff Carter: you know the one where the people write the things on the card
Mandy: hmm. i must be out of date with game shows cuz i don’t know that one
Jeff Carter: um like one person writes something down on a card and then the other person comes out and tells the host their answer and then they flip the card over and compare the two answers
Mandy: ha ha
Jeff Carter: wtf is that show called?
Mandy: the NEWLYWED GAME?
Jeff Carter: oh god dammit…yeah that’s it…nevermind.
so my dad called me this afternoon, all jazzed about this classic car he found on ebay. being the helpful son that i am, i set him up with an account and started bidding for him on a slick $40k muscle car.
considering that i know nothing about muscle cars, i felt slightly unqualified to be giving him advice. didn’t matter, dad didnt need someone to give him advice, he needed someone willing to pull the forty-thousand-dollar-trigger.
son of a bitch! let me tell you, bidding tens of thousands of dollars in the last minutes of an auction is unlike any of my previous auction experiences which involved one too many close calls while completing my beanie baby collection.
anti-climatically, some guy from podunk, arkansas ended up bidding like a million dollars and now my dad doesnt have to explain to my mom how he managed to spend like forty-grand in the middle of the afternoon on an idle thursday.
so today i learned that being a big-shot-ebay-high-roller takes balls…and like forty-thousand dollars.
bill maher was on msnbc last night talking to chris matthews and that’s good damn reason to set the tivo.
the guys at crooks and liars have the full interview or if you’re so inclined, you can watch a small clip put together by yours truly…mainly as an excuse to play with imovie.
love him or hate him, you have to admit the man has a point. the season premier of real time is this friday on hbo.
Mandy: so one of your med professors is lecturing to us today.
Jeff Carter: really, which one?
Mandy: dr. dirksen…hey…i wonder if she is related to my former boss?
Jeff Carter: hmm i’m gonna guess not
Mandy: and why is that?
Jeff Carter: cuz the odds are in my favor that my professor and your boss aren’t related
Mandy: but dirksen isn’t a common name
Jeff Carter: i dont know i got like 124,000 hit results for dirksen on google
Mandy: well most of them are probably about dick dirksen because he was a big shot at my previous job.
Jeff Carter: oh yeah.
Mandy: i used to work for dick
Jeff Carter: adsf;lkj adsfl;kj haha
Jeff Carter: i’m so blogging that
Mandy: no ur not
today is the day after valentine’s day and i hope everyone’s february 14th was full of hearts and love and puppy dogs and butterflies and other happy things. my valentine’s day was so wickedly awesome that i’m not even gonna tell you about it.
if your’s sucked i’m really sorry but look on the bright side, at least you didnt shoot someone in the face.
i was talking to mandy about how the whole gift buying thing has evolved drastically with the advent of the “credit-card-generation”. back in the day–before platinum credit cards and $10,000 dollar credit limits–you bought your significant other what you could afford not what you could spend. there’s a big fuck difference.
this undoubtedly is why i suffer from gift-guilt. it works like this: i think of something incredible that i could give to someone and when i realize i cant afford it, i remember my big fat credit limit with its low interest rate and before i know it i’m signing my life away. in order to reverse this downward spiral into credit card hell, i’m taking a new approach to gift giving and am going to start buying gifts that not only i can purchase but that i can afford.
if you are thinking ahead to my birthday in august, you should disregard this lousy advice, because papa needs a new imac.
i don’t want to worry anyone, but it appears that i have a celine dion song stuck in my head. ive been singing it to myself all morning long.
seriously.
if i don’t shake this soon, it is going to be a very long monday.
i hate february.
no not because of valentine’s day or those three-day weekends that my classes never observe.
no! i hate it because it’s only like 28 days long! That’s not a goddamn month!
january! now that’s a full-god-damn-month. unless you’re willing to give me 30-31 full days, then i dont want to have anything to do with you.
it’s like i just finish paying all my bills for february and then bam the month craps out on me. oh and rent! dont even get me started on how fucked i feel when i have to pay the same rent in february that i have to pay in january! that doesnt make any goddamn sense!
someone around here owes me for the three days of rent that february dicked me out of…
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