stumbling my way through a digital life
i swear to shit the vast majority of people i dig all have march birthdays.
it must be something astological, right?
nonetheless, today is raymi’s birthday. she helps make the internet not suck.
i am going to celebrate her birthday by playing hours of megatouch and i recommend you all do the same.
that is all.
Jeff Carter: dude
Stonebraker: wha?
Jeff Carter: how disgusting is it when people dry their hands in the bathroom w/ a paper towel and then blow their nose on the same paper towel! like its covered in wet fecal particles…why would you cram that in ur nose on purpose?
Stonebraker: well if all goes as planned the wet hands are clean
Jeff Carter: whatever…like i trust the cleanliness of the water that comes out of a faucet that is 2 feet away from the dirtiest water of all time
Stonebraker: thats why I’m addiceted to purell
Jeff Carter: word
Stonebraker: that shit is majic
Stonebraker: i meant…magic
Jeff Carter: haha majic
Stonebraker: weird I always thought magic had a “j”
Jeff Carter: it does if you from india…majic
Stonbraker: and I am so that makes sense
Jeff Carter: exactly
so by now you’ve come to trust jcdn for all of your pointless-four-letter-laced-over-hyphenated-amusement.
with that in mind, trust me when i tell you to go buy the new ben harper album, “Both Sides of the Gun”. it’s a two-disc album for like $12 on iTunes or about $20 for the 3-disc set in stores.
you will thank me later.
son of a bitch! have you seen the video of that cat that fell like 80 feet out of a tree? i know, i know this was all over the place like last week but here at jcdn we like to talk about all the cool shit that happens like weeks earlier.
this is another reason why cat’s are so bad ass. show me a dog that can live up in a tree for a week, drop 80 feet, land on its back and then scurry off. that’s what i thought…
also dont you hate it when you are sitting at your desk going about your daily tasks and you hear the person a few desks down say something loudly so that everyone around them will hear it and ask them what’s wrong? this happens to me almost daily and today i’ve decided to ignore all future vocal pleas for my attention.
from now on i will only respond to loud-dramatic-voice-guy if what he has to say is ridiculously interesting…which it never is.
so today is Mandy’s big day and all around the world people are celebrating the “joy of mandy“.
rumor has it the birthday girl is spending the afternoon in hollywood before sitting down for a home-cooked dinner complete with presents, presents and more presents. oh and cake. we’ve got a fancy chocolate victorian cake w/ strawberry creme filling and an excess of calories.
oh yes….and coca-cola. that girl loves her coke!
hmm…after typing this i’ve realized that while i have a great kitchen in which to prepare said dinner, i have no dining table to eat said dinner upon. hmm. tv trays anyone?!
we’ve got lots of pics from this weekend’s festivities and the birthday girl has never looked better. it’s a good sign when you’re looking better on your birthday than you ever have and nothing is more wonderful than a woman who only becomes more graceful with age.
happy birthday, mandy!
celebrate her day, bitches!
wow. updates have been really few and far between these days.
so school is ridiculously busy right now and my life has been reduced to preparing these crazy presentations for speaking engagements and conferences. while cancer research can be rewarding in its own right, what really breaks my heart is that i’ve neglected all of you, my dear sweet snowflakes.
maybe we need relationship counseling. if you loved me you’d go!
so how about a pointless story to get us reaquainted?
ok so i’m sitting at a restaurant last nite waiting to be seated and i overhear two waitresses start in on this conversation about some guy that waitress#1 was sleeping with. so waitress#2 asks, “do you still talk to him on myspace?” to which waitress#1 replied, “hell no! i’ve moved him down to #7 in my top eight and if he doesnt get his shit together, then he’s out of the top eight.”
at this point i almost poked out my own eye.
i had no idea that a person’s “top eight” on myspace held such social and sexual repercussions. in light of this, i have come up with a genius way of avoiding the whole “am i in your top eight?” problem by only having six friends.
ah it’s good to be back in the blogosphere again. welcome me back bitches!
UPDATE: after re-reading this entry, i’m convinced that using the term “top eight” over and over and over is the key to blogging success.
dear idiot socal drivers,
despite what you may have heard there’s a little something called right-of-way and we pedestrians have it. really we do. as shocking as it may seem, when someone is in the middle of the crosswalk you have to wait.
not only is this the law, it’s just plain courteous. i mean, really, you’re in a 2-ton suv and i’m in a pair of chuck t’s.
this could not be more true than when it’s raining like a bitch. please try to think like a human being and let the poor kid getting pelted by rain and reeking of hair wax to cross the street.
yes. you may have been there first, but fuck you! you’re sitting in a chevy tank pumping the heater all dry and cocky while i’m attempting to wade across what used to be the street.
i swear to shit, if i have to stop in the crosswalk one more time to let an suv drive in front of me in the middle of a fuck rainstorm i’m going to have to start taking crazy pills.
best regards,
jeffcarter.net
can you believe it’s been like a week since i blogged?
the month of march is full of important dates. yesterday was leanne’s birthday, today’s travis’ birthday and mandy’s big day is only a few weeks away.
so not only is today the day after the big party, but it’s the last day before both of my cartons of orange juice expire. this has sent me spiraling to find creative ways to down this stuff and i swear to shit, i’m never again buying orange juice wholesale.
last night was leanne’s big party and between mandy and i we took about 300 pictures. the good news is that no less than 4 of them are actually decent.
so you’ve got that to look forward to…
today is Leanne’s birthday and that means it’s time to celebrate. If i’m doing the math right, she should be about 22 or so….just like last year.
there will be plenty of fun surprises for her tonite and all the gory photographic details will be available after the fuck party .
so go wish her a goddamn happy birthday…
school is really killing me these days and this upsets because i never get to see my friends and that makes me feel bad for them because i really am a joy to be around.
so maybe i’ll just drop out of school because a phd is over-rated anyway. then i would go into business for myself selling these things by the truck load! or maybe i’ll just sit my ass down and figure out this cancer non-sense. either one…whatever.
so it’s monday and that means it’s time for a new death cab ‘directions‘ video. this week is “someday you will be loved” and it’s so artsy that you will immediately feel like a pacific-northwest-hipster when you watch it.
guaranteed.
i hope some of you had a nice relaxing weekend, because my two days of freedom got kneed in the groin by school.
this weekend, our campus was hosting the alumni convention and this is basically a chance for all the old docs to come back to school for a weekend and relive the good ol’ days of med school.
today’s festivities included an alumni-hosted scientific session, which is a chance for all us punk-ass kids to show off our research and prove once and for all that we do indeed know it all. this is of course do to the fact that we have it so much better than the docs who had to walk nine miles to school…barefoot…in the snow.
so even though i missed out on some beautiful seventy-degree days, i did get to hang out in the gymnasium and talk about how we are all kicking cancer’s ass and this made it well worth my time. well…that and all the free med schwag that the exhibitors are giving away.
horray for drug-name-branded pens and frisbees!
so if the closing awards reception goes quickly, i may still make it home for the oscars because that is the shit that really matters.
update: okay so it turns out that my presentation won first place and like i said those old docs really know what they’re talking about
today i got the world’s worst haircut.
it’s a cross between florence henderson and an 80’s chick who decided to become a skinhead.
yep. that bad.
this is really gonna fuck with my emo punk persona.
school is really killing me these days and this upsets because i never get to see my friends and that makes me feel bad for them because i really am a joy to be around.
so maybe i’ll just drop out of school because a phd is over-rated anyway. then i would go into business for myself selling these things by the truck load! or maybe i’ll just sit my ass down and figure out this cancer non-sense. either one…whatever.
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