it appears that david hasselhoff and i have more in common than our boyish good looks and amazing musical abilities:
[Hasselhoff] was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, his publicist, Judy Katz, said.
dude, what are the chances of me and “hoff” doing the same thing within a week of each other?
redlands apartment banter continues as we consider the now infamous office lamp:
so if you’ve been around for a few months you may recall that my redlands-love-bungalow included a rather
low-hanging light fixture in the office. for the first few weeks, nay a day would pass without me rocking my head against the lamp as i stood up from my desk.
like any trained lab animal, i eventually learned to avoid said lamp by doing a duck-and-hover manuever. this solved my problem until about a week ago.
it was during a 3-way skype phone call to seattle that i raised up and smashed my head like never before. the lamp had enough of this bullshit and managed to free itself from its housing and crashed into a million jagged pieces all around.
while i survived unscathed, the lamp is no more.
oh the humanity.
I watched about 20mins of the NBA draft tonight before I realized that I could be watching paint dry and in doing so would be much more entertained. yawn.
the trailer for spiderman 3 is up. it looks amazing. linkage
for some reason my otherwise sterile redlands apartment has been taken over by flies.
not gnats or little buzzy things, but a dozen baby house flies. the little guys are everywhere, circling around me in some kind of aerial-attack-pattern.
it’s driving me berzerk.
son of a bitch, some fly gets knocked up and decides to use my redlands love bungalow as a maternity ward?
i’m gonna take my happy ass down to the 99cent store and buy a flyswatter. i’ll show these little bastards who’s boss.
that sound you heard today was millions of emo kids cheering the release of the new dashboard confessional album. standard emo fare, indeed.
so today i was walking from the med center to the accounting office when i noticed this girl lying passed out against a stop sign. an older woman was attending to her and i ran over to find the girl half-conscious with her eyes rolling back in her head. i knelt down next to her and just as i was starting the ABCs (airway, breathing, circulation) a guy ran over and identified himself as a physician.
after about 2 minutes there were no less than 5 med students, a hand full of nurses, and 2 public safety officers standing around the girl waiting to help. we found her some water, waited for her to throw it up, told her it was ok that she threw up and then loaded her up and drove her two blocks to the emergency room.
let this be a lesson to all of you: if you’re going to pass out from dehydration/heat exhaustion, you should always try to do so on a med school campus. doing so ensures that over-eager med students fresh out of second-year will rush to your rescue.
today US Soccer was eliminated from World Cup play when they lost 2-1 to Ghana. so now everyone’s trying to figure out how a US team ranked 5th in the world gets eliminated from group play by a country so bankrupt that they have to shut down their manufacturing for the day to have enough electricity to watch the match on television.
i’m sick of hearing about how bruce arena fucked up or how the refs were incompetent and even though both are true i cant help but face the fact that we suck ass.
there i said it. the US Soccer team is no fucking good.
blah.
if you dial the wrong number and the person on the other end politely tells you that you’ve misdialed don’t just hang up–that’s fucking rude. apologize for your error and politely hang up, not doing so makes you a tool.
so if you’re looking for a fun thing to do this weekend, you should try cleaning your washer and dryer.
no really, those things get really grimey and covered with dryer lint and soap residue. i cleaned mine last night and lemme tell you i slept like a baby knowing that shit was clean.
…today at the b&n cafe i was asked no less than 9 questions before the nice barista lady would give me my goddamn espresso.
again, this has nothing to do with the individual helping me, but rather the incessant need that corporations have to upsale their customers and to drive them clinically insane with pseudo-kindness. if you have to script everyword these workers say, then why not just replace them with a nice computer panel that takes my order and from whom i expect no personality or individuality.
so how’s your day?
most people have found my interest in the world cup tournament to be a bit surprising. now it’s true that waking up early to watch two football teams from countries that i know next to nothing about may seem like odd behavior.
but this is the world cup and if you cant act like a freak during world cup play, then when can you?
so on tuesday, the u.s. national team decided that they wouldnt show up for the game and instead would let an aging, defense-minded czech team kick our collective asses. saturday’s game against italy is a do-or-die affair for the us and we need either a win or at the very least a tie to have any chance of making it out of group play.
the game’s on at noon PST so show your national pride and root on the team.
UPDATE: well it appears those aging czech’s i told you about lost 2-0 to ghana. that’s right…ghana. what this means is that the the good people of ghana have bailed out u.s. soccer and a tie/win keeps us very much alive in group play.
dear jesus, please let this be true. please. please. please.
so i was ordering take-out for dinner tonight because when you’ve only got a year before graduation and cancer has turned out to be a bitch to cure you don’t have time to fuck around with a proper sit-down dinner.
so as i’m ordering, one of the women behind the counter was bragging about how she had decided on a name for her fetus/baby. apparently, if it’s a boy the little one’s going to be named “decalon” and if it’s a girl it’s going to be “skyler”.
son of a bitch! decalon or skyler? don’t those sound like the names of two transformers?
i really wish that people would consider rescuing a nice little animal and get over this whole having babies thing…especially if you’re gonna name them decalon or skyler.
i’m the youngest grumpy old man you’ll ever meet and that’s why you love me.
you know you’re poor when you open the mailbox and find that big fat ValuPak Coupon envelope and shout, “fuck yeah!”
i am now able to save 10% of my next dry cleaning order, $3 off my next car wash and can enjoy a free side order when i buy a meal at the scary chinese place down the street.
life is good.
while it’s not officially summer in socal, it definitely feels like it.
i’ve found that my fancy redlands apartment has a comfortable temperature range of only one degree. i can report this so accurately because i’ve got one of those digital thermostats that were made for ocd kids like myself.
after numerous stuffy evenings indoors i can reliably report that:
75F = too hot and 73F = too cold, thus 74F = just right.
and now you know.
Being a huge fan of gardenstate and scrubs, i was jazzed to see zach braff blogging again on his new site. check it, kids!
so if you want to gain some indie music street cred, but dont want to have to go to the trouble of listening to new music, then check out The Scrubs Soundtrack: Vol 2. Zach Braff has done all the hard work for you…
i’ve never been good at change.
whether it’s deciding when change is necessary or dealing with someone else’s change being crammed down my throat, i generally suck at it.
this has never been more true than now as i’m sitting here wondering what it is the universe wants from me, or more appropriately, wants for me.
this would be easier if i were a christian who could just “give it to the lord” and “put it in his hands”. better yet, i wish i was one of those decisive people who admist personal heartache and impending sadness can look at a decision to be made as nothing more than a mathematics problem.
for what it’s worth, if i could do that i’d be a cold-hearted bitch too.
i was talking to leanne about this very topic and she has a interesting, albeit far-fetched theory, that the universe is yours to shape. that is, if you want something in your life you have to put the thought out there and then mold your life as if you assuredly expect for your desire to come true.
for me, this borders a bit to closely to ‘faith’ and other such non-sense. however, at the foundation of my belief system is the fact that each of us controls our own destiny. so, if i’m willing to take responsibility for my happiness shouldn’t i be willing to set goals for my own happiness?
isn’t this what we all really want?
god i suck at change.
“…when you’re asked to fight a war that’s over nothing, it’s best to join the side that’s gonna win.”
by this point, i’d imagine you are dying….DYING…to see the presentation i gave on prostate cancer.
so the university has weird policies about posting powerpoint files, so i’ve taken the liberty of making a little Quicktime movie out of the talk. i’ve sped things up so that the whole presentation lasts only a minute. if you find something that interests you, use the pause button and shoot me an email.
in the meantime, i’m having a helluva time getting back into school. i think i have a case of the post-conference blues which is exactly what you want during finals week.