one lonely success

so i’m on my bumpy flight from seattle back home to socal and there are these two mid-old-age people in front of me. by the looks of the backs of their heads i would estimate that the greasy-haired-blonde woman is in her late forties and the curly-grey-haired guy is in his early fifties. also, there is a fifty-something-asian man looking over my shoulder as i type this line.

“hey bro, this line is just for you! yep you. i totally know you’re reading this as i type.”

anyway, the two strangers in front of me have not shut up since we boarded the flight over an hour ago.

so that you too may share in my joy, i’m going to keep a running list of the non-sense that two perfect strangers have to talk about at 8pm on a flight from seattle to la.

• greasy-haired-woman took like 7 or 8 rolls of film on her trip to seattle. i KNOW 7 or 8 rolls! i couldnt believe when i heard it either. but don’t worry she bought the film at costco so it didnt cost her that much. oh boy. now old-curly-haired-guy is trying to sell her on digital photography and how fancy he can edit them on his gateway computer.
• old-curly-haired guy has season tickets to the anaheim ducks and he’s very proud of this fact. perhaps in old-people-land this helps one get laid. i cannot comment, for i am neither old nor a ducks season ticket holder.
• greasy-haired-woman went on a weekend trip to chicago in 1999. perhaps if you’re still telling stories about your wild weekend away from home, you should make sure they occurred in this century. if they did not, you’re probably just boring all the people around you.
• old-curly-haired-guy went on a camping trip with his buddies and they drank beer. wow! beer? really? did your mom or dad ever find out? oh my gawd i bet you would have gotten so grounded if they ever knew!

my friends, pay close attention: i’ve heard what it’s like to become old and single and desperate for someone to listen to your non-sense….it’s not a pretty scene.

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