2 years ago tonight, i was sad, alone and nearly hopeless. my what a difference two years make.
happy 2007, my little snowflakes.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 12/31/2004:
to the literally ten’s of people who visit this site, happy new year. my fancy shirt is ironed and ready to make its debut appearance. the appropriate people have been called. reservations have been made. people are expecting us. all that remains is some fun and debauchary.
and now a look back at 2004…it really sucked. sure i learned a lot about myself and those i love. sure my life took on a new non-existential meaning. sure i find myself more at peace than a year ago. but none of that means that 2004 will be a year that i will look back on with a smile. in fact, 2004 was all about emptiness, loneliness and grieving. now this shouldn’t at all reflect upon the best parts of this year.
you know who you all are….and you know that you made me smile…over and over.
so brothers and sister, won’t you join me in giving 2004 a big “fuck offâ€.
when people who have dated for like 4 years break up and then get back together after six months and after the guy has had time to realize that he cant fuck anyone else and the girl realizes that her barbie looks are only skin deep and that no one else will have her and then they get back together and two weeks later the guy buys a ring from zales on credit and the two love birds decide to get married.
as I write, i’m at grandma #1’s and smiling nicely for distant relatives who i cannot stand and who cannot stand me. i would say that we all get together for my grandma’s sake, but she knows we all hate each other too. nonetheless, each year we get together to see who’s packed on the pounds from one too many night’s at the local saloon and who’s shed one too many pounds from the crack pipe.
the good news is that by xmas day, i’ll actually be able to spend the holiday w/ my parents, sister and brother-in-law, the people i actually consider family and actually enjoy spending time with.
for now, i’ve spent too long in the back bedroom with my laptop and need to return to the hell that is xmas gathering #1. afterall, i wouldn’t want to be rude.
so last year i wrote the following post and what i learned is that if you want to drive all kinds of traffic to your blog, then just include graphics that have filenames like ‘upskirt’. this way when perverts search google for some hot upskirt action they get a nice link to my blog which is better than upskirt pictures any day.
if given the chance i would so spread holiday joy with the following wrapping paper…
my sister’s secretary emailed these to her earlier today and it’s just another reason why i’m glad that office secretaries have internet access in the work place.
so i think that if i were a stripper, i’d be sure to know how to dance to ‘layla’. not the old school classic version but the quiet mtv unplugged acoustic version.
that’s a sexy song and i’m a sexy man who knows how to shake his money maker.
if this med thing doesn’t work out i’ve totally got a back up plan.
so the seahawks somehow got dicked into playing a thursday night game this week. if you don’t follow american football, then let me tell you a thing or two…having to play on thursday night is the equivalent to a kick in the nuts. furthering the insult, you can only watch it on the NFL network which means that only about two-dozen cable-subscribers across the country get to enjoy the fun. this does NOT include me and i am NONE to happy about it.
i curse you nfl network….i CURSE you!
so instead of actually watching the game, i’m just going to look at my seahawks cheerleader calendar. hi amber, how are you. Tags:
so last night i dreamed that i was applying for residency positions and i got an interview at some hot shot school. when i showed up, the place was like this giant two-story amusement park. as i walked inside i saw the other applicants, only none of them were dressed up, but instead were in all these crazy burlesque-style party clothes.
the interview coordinator came down and told us that the interview was a serious of ‘challenges’ and i noticed that there was an obstacle course waiting for us. when i walked up to the first challenge, the challenge was to give your best pole dance. i was all, ‘what the hell, i cant pole dance in this suit.’ this continued on from obstacle to obstacle and ended with me thinking how completely unprepared i was to shake my ass in exchange for a successful career.
i have no idea from what tiny recess in my brain this dream came from, but i know that the next interview i go to i will be prepared to strut my shit on the pole.
i got my haircut today and consequently, i’ve been stuck in front of my mac playing w/ PhotoBooth all day.
if you ask nicely i may be compelled to post the other 32 shots.
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