one lonely success

last night i had the most fucked up dream of all time.

i was living back home in bakersfield with buster and even though it was the present day, the earth was all fucked up. global warming was out of control and climate change had caused everything to dry up and look very much like the end of days.

everything was dead—plants and animals alike.

to make matters worse the only creatures not affected by the climate change were the penguins who had somehow managed to survive the drastic changes in the ecosystem through some loophole of evolution. so aside from the world being a fucking desert, there were penguins everywhere and they were crapping on everything.

because of the apocalypse-like conditions, money/currency had lost it’s value. everyone was super hungry—including buster. this was one of the most chilling feelings i’ve ever had in a dream. knowing that despite all of my planning and preparation, all that i had worked for was quite literally worthless and i was powerless.

at one point in the dream sequence, laine and i were walking to costco in the hopes of convincing them to sell us some food. we were walking around the abandoned warehouse and the only thing left on the shelf was penguin food.

damn dirty penguins.

laine turned to me and said that if i was going to be a hero that i would have to find us food to bring back home to our families. i reached into my pocket and felt the plastic of my Costco AmEx card. I rushed to the register waiving the grey plastic psychotically over my head. for some reason, the supervisor in the costco-smock was still on duty despite the impending end of the human race. when he saw my AmEx card, he rushed us to this hidden aisle that was full of food and most importantly toilet paper.

amazed at what i was seeing, i turned to the costco-boss-man looking for an explanation, but before i could speak i could hear the sound of my alarm clock buzzing.

i opened my eyes and without being fully awake looked at buster and said, “…those fucking penguins buster…they were everywhere.”

this dream has taught me that right before going to bed, i should not a.) listen to a bill maher rant about global warming b.) watch a preview for some animated movie about penguins and c.) think about paying off my AmEx card