5 years ago tonight I was the loneliest-popular-person you’ve never known. surrounded by people and lonely beyond words…

I wrote these two blog posts for her with the hope that she could hear me. Five years later, I know she did…god…has it been that long?

“Happy New Year” Originally posted Dec 31st 2004:

to the literally ten’s of people who visit this site, happy new year. my fancy shirt is ironed and ready to make its debut appearance. the appropriate people have been called. reservations have been made. people are expecting us. all that remains is some fun and debauchary.

and now a look back at 2004…it really sucked. sure i learned a lot about myself and those i love. sure my life took on a new non-existential meaning. sure i find myself more at peace than a year ago. but none of that means that 2004 will be a year that i will look back on with a smile. in fact, 2004 was all about emptiness, loneliness and grieving. now this shouldn’t at all reflect upon the best parts of this year.

you know who you all are….and you know that you made me smile…over and over.

so brothers and sister, won’t you join me in giving 2004 a big “fuck off”.

peace and love in 2005. but especially peace.

and earlier that same day…

“god speed“ originally posted Dec 31st 2004

the rain is coming down harder now. individual puddles are joining forces with their friends in an evil plot to take over the streets. the sounds of the drops are very rhythmic and almost organic in a way.

p&l in 2010.