1LWoW | one lonely success

today’s 1LWoW involves the often-intimidating chore of public speaking…

so at some point in your professional life, you may find yourself assigned to give a lecture, make a sales presentation, etc.

understand that it is quite natural to be nervous/terrified.

from time-to-time, i give lectures to a bunch of really smart kids and i’ve learned the following:

if the classroom/lecture hall/conference room you’re using has a whiteboard then cleaning said whiteboard with copious amounts of spray cleaner minutes before your lecture will effectively make the first 3-4 rows of your audience high/drunk from the fumes. an added bonus to this phenomenon is that you too will be just drunk enough to bust out with the greatest lecture of your life.

note: if a whiteboard is not available then whiteboard spray cleaner may be substituted with whiskey shots.

in my 30+ plus years on the planet i’ve learned a lot of things that could save the less experienced from the sort of thing that will piss off your life.

today, i’m starting a new series of posts entitled “one lonely word of wisdom“. i’ll use this series of posts to share a few of the pearls of wisdom that this roller-coaster-affair of a life has taught me.

one lonely word of wisdom #327:

at some point in your life you’ll find yourself renting an apartment that is too small for all of your belongings (read: shit).

undoubtedly, you will turn to the sub-standard-sized cabinet above your refrigerator to store items that “have no home“.

today’s 1LWoW is this—while the bastard-cabinet of the kitchen is a good place for your unwanted items (read: shit) avoid storing the scented candles you bought b/c your ex-girlfriend liked having grown-up-time amidst the subtle fragrance of lavendar in the bastard-cabinent. doing so will guarantee that all of the worthless items in that cabinet will forever be impregnated w/ the smell of lilac, jasmine, etc.

you’ll thank me later.

…and yes i used the words “grown-up-time” and “impregnated” in the same blog post.