Tag Archives: macbook

just add vodka with a twist of FUCK

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hey joker!

remember that time when you totally fucked up and spilt an entire liter of tonic water all over your hipster-kitchen-bar and in doing so engulfed your most precious worldly possessions with sugared-seltzer-water?

that was rad! …here are some highlights that you may have missed when you were cursing and biting yourself…remember how:

- your new macbook was placed neatly at the bar in front of the barstool you sit at each morning while trying to solve the world’s heath problems? yeah! that tonic water totally fucked that up! dude, that macbook was LITERALLY floating on a river of hurt…THAT TASTED LIKE TONIC WATER! dude, by the time you got to it, the soda water was still fizzing! it was as if your hopes and dreams were fizzing away! HA!

- oh..DUDE…remember how you laid the keys to your Jetta next to the Macbook? and ‘member how you think driving a Jetta is something non-capitalist-pigs purchase b/c they want german-engineering but DON’T want to be seen riding around in a BMW? and then in all your stupid-fuck-wisdom you decided to IGNORE the hell out of the nice key hooks to your imediate-fucking-left? but instead you laid your keys lazily next to your (now dead) macbook? I swear to shit, when you picked up that fancy swtich-blade-keyless-entry-thing and watched as your vodka juice ran out of it I thought I was going to piss my pants! so fuck rad!

wait wait wait…the best part is that just TODAY you decided it would be a bad-ass-fuck-idea to bring home your super-important-top-secret lab notebook that contains ALL of your super-fuck-important data and read over it AT THE KITCHEN BAR…AND NOW…well, let’s just say that that son of a bitch is holding more tonic water than your poor fuck MacBook.

I could not imagine how tonight could get worse for you! …wait what’s that? not getting laid either? damn, bro….need a hug?

well at least you’ve got your novel, “…you know…the one you’ve been working on for ten years?”

mac dealings with the adult industry

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so last thursday i sold my precious iMac to a photographer in Orange County who was setting up a new photostudio.

the process of selling the iMac took all of 5mins…i logged onto the Orange County Craigslist and the first listing was:

“WANT TO BUY: iMac 24″ 2.4GHz“.

Emailed the guy, we agreed on a price—$100USD less than I paid for it 1.5yrs ago—and setup a time for delivery.

on friday, I drove to his studio on my lunch break, dropped off the goods and he gave me the cash and…wait for it…$40 for gas money.

best. craigslist. buyer. ever.

once i was back in the jetta, i hit up the iPhone for the nearest BofA and quickly deposited more $20 bills than I had ever seen at one time.

also, in retrospect, the guy’s place could have been a porn studio and—as we speak—my precious iMac is being used to edit pictures only meant for mommies and daddies who love each other very much.

to temporarily replace the desktop, i picked up a new 13″ MacBook to use to shuttle between home and school and while i wait for new iMacs to be released this little notebook is my primary machine.

it’s a stunning piece of art that doubles as a computer.

here are a few beauty shots:


if you visit the Flickr page of the above image, you’ll see the all the notes for the gear on my desk.

Buster Wondering What I'm Doing
also, this is what buster looks like when he’s trying to figure out why his owner is standing on an office chair, holding $2000 worth of photography equipment to take a picture of a desk.

you’re welcome, internet.


metal plastic brooms

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look at how metal my macbook pro is with these stickers.Metaloh and if you’re worried that i’ve defaced my precious investment, you should know that i’ve wrapped my mbp in an invisibleSHIELD . the shield is made out of the same stuff that they use to protect helicopter blades and it’s pretty much indestructible. i like to the think of it as a giant tech condom that protects my precious apple products from the world.also the wind was blowing like crazy last night and now the entire world’s trash is on my porch. i’m hoping buster, santa claus or someone will clean it up.i’m having people over next weekend for a halloween BASH and this dirty porch will NOT STAND. ok where’s my broom?