understandably it can be tough trying to figure out what the modern american man is looking for in a woman.

we men can too often appear insensitive, naive and unsure of what it is we “really want”.

and while i represent only 1 of 150 million men in the U.S., i can tell you—with complete confidence—that what we want is tina fey.

she’s beautiful, talented, intelligent, witty, smart, smart and…SMART!

also, she’s got the qualities that makes us giggle like school boys…because she’s SEXY SMART.

i offer up this video as proof and encourage the women of america to focus their sights on the guys who want you for your sexy-smartness…and that isnt even a word but trust me, we want it.

sexy-smartness…we dudes want it…bad.

thanks to supertiff for finding the official-nbc-sanctioned-video.

his “special guest” was ben affleck and HIGH-larity ensued…oh and if you havent seen the “i’m fucking matt damon” video then you should watch this and then cancel your internet connection b/c you’re not making good use of it.

here’s jimmy and ben’s response to sarah’s LUST:

awesome.

because i insist on making everything a competition, i printed out oscar ballots and required everyone to mark their pre-oscar selections. (if someone refused, then they receive no cheese.)

sidenote: buster received no cheese tonight.

i lost. BIG TIME.

nonetheless, i’m man enough to admit when i’ve been beaten by the cool hollywood kids who have the “inside track” on these sorts of things.

here’s how my scorecard fared:

Original Song:
Prediction – Falling Slowly from Once
Winner – Falling Slowly
Notes: with “Enchanted” splitting the vote 3 ways, the best song won.

Foreign Language Film:
Prediction – Beufort (Israel)
Winner – The Counterfeiters (Austria)
Notes: This was a blind guess…

Animated Film:
Prediciton – Ratatouille
Winner – Ratatouille
Notes: Was there even any other animated films made last year? Also, I’ve never written the word “ratatouille” before in my life and I just did it 3 times.

Adapted Screenplay:
Prediction – No Country for Old Men
Winner – No Country for Old Men
Notes: If you liked the movie, you’ll love Cormac McCarthy’s novel.

Original Screenplay:
Prediction – Michael Clayton
Winner – Juno
Notes: OK, so my heart wanted to vote for the former stripper who wrote “Juno” but I was betting to win and…well…I didnt. From now on, I’m always going to go with the stripper.

Best Supporting Actress:
Prediction – Cate Blanchette
Winner – Tilda Swinton
Notes: Dude, Cate played a DUDE whose name was BOB DYLAN!

Best Supporting Actor:
Prediction – Javier Bardem
Winner – Javier Bardmen
Notes: Duh.

Best Actress:
Prediction – Julie Christie
Winner – Marion Cotillard
Notes: I speak no french but my spanish is awesome…also I know how to say “May I Have a Bourbon” in Africans.

Best Actor:
Prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis
Winner: DDL
Notes: he won the oscar off of the “…i’ve forsaken my boy…” line and deserved every ounce of the hardware.

Best Director:
Prediction: Cohen Bros
Winner: Cohen Bros
Notes: If you were up against “No Country for Old Men” tonight I hope they at least validated your parking.

Best Picture:
Prediction: No Country for Old Men
Winner: No Country for Old Men
Notes: Best of the films I saw this year, although, I havent seen “Atonement”. Yet, unless it has a gas-tank-weilding Javier Bardem in it, I doubt it could be better than “Old Men”

Final Score: I lost to Hanre by 3 and was correct on my predictions in 7 out of 11 categories. Not bad, but next year I need to bring my “A” game.

and how many women watch this show?

The Office Season 3 on DVD

so i watched it with buster last night on the lcd tv and it was glorious. i’m currently suffering from post-300 effects like yelling and flexing my abs.

this morning i found this waiting for me in my rss reader courtesy of matt. it sums up the movie perfectly.

could my choices for home entertainment this evening be anymore divergent? slasher-gore-fest or insightful-documentary?